After getting the idea that I'd phone in requests to radio stations and
use the title of the request in the last line, I came up with several...
As I travel, I usually try to phone the local station with my unique form of request.
My limerick requests have been aired on several stations around the country, including those in the
cities of Atlanta, Colorado Springs, Denver, Iowa City, Cedar Rapids, Charleston, SC,
Dallas, San Francisco, Washington, DC and on my all-time favorite syndicated show
"Super Gold," hosted by Mike Harvey and broadcast every Saturday night from 7 PM to
midnight Eastern Time.
Visit the Super Gold web site to learn more!
A few of my best:
If you don't have the cash for a car,|
But you can buy a Cuban cigar,
If each plane has red stars,
And your rulers were czars,
Then you're "Back In The U.S.S.R."!
A successful, young entrepreneur|
Saw his chance and was quick to procure
The promotional rights
For hotels and all flights
On the "Magical Mystery Tour"!
As I hurriedly ate my fajita|
And I gulped down an iced margarita,
Against time I was racing
Or a fine I'd be facing
From that meter maid called "Lovely Rita"!
For those folks full of culture and class,|
With their meals always served under glass,
During fancy dessertin',
There's one thing for certain--
What you don't want is "Classical Gas"!
There's a lesson that we should be learning|
With the hot days of summer returning:
Get some sun block applied
When you're tanning outside.
If you don't, you may find "Something's Burning"!
When the fad was a new Hula Hoop,|
And on weekends, the guys scooped the loop,
They would call to the girls
With their ribbons and curls,
"Ride with me in my "Little Deuce Coupe"!"
I remember the time I got kissed|
By a girl who was quick to insist
That she tasted so sweet
'Cuz she'd just had a treat
That was flavored with "Peppermint Twist"!
When we met, I had no prior notion|
She'd reject all my love and devotion.
So my whistle I blew
And her game now is through.
She was caught with her "Backfield In Motion!"
When you're young and you want to be cool,|
You should follow this unwritten rule:
You may date many girls
With their ribbons and curls,
But you'd better "Be True To Your School!"
I went out for a picnic at dark,|
Which turned into a terrible lark!
All these little red ants
Found their way up my pants!
I was scratching in "Itchycoo Park!"
Super Gold plays the very best rock!|
And Mike's got ev'ry oldie in stock.
With this short little rhyme
We will go back in time
And the country will "Rock 'Round The Clock!"
Late last night, my poor heart was a-sinkin'|
When patrol lights for me came a-blinkin'.
The speedometer dials
Said they chased me for miles!
Said the cop, "That is one 'Hot Rod Lincoln!'"
When remembering back as a child,|
And from notes that my teachers have filed,
It would seem clear as crystal
That I was a pistol!
Perhaps I was "Born To Be Wild!"
When you left, I thought all hope was gone.|
I'd sleep tossing and turning 'til dawn.
Though you're not still around,
It took time, but I found
"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life Goes On."
I went fishing offshore catching grunions.|
Now my feet are all sore from my bunions!
But they sure fry up nice,
In a sauce of red spice,
Some black pepper, white wine and "Green Onions!"
When the weather is sunny outside,|
I see joggers all running in stride.
But with all that exertion,
I make the assertion
I'd rather be "Hitchin' A Ride."
If you're granted three wishes, be clever!|
As for me, I would make an endeavor
To get shortcake when shopping
And, along with whipped topping,
Live in "Strawberry Fields Forever!"
Back in school, there was one pretty girl|
Who was given a ring with a pearl.
It was inlaid with gold
And inscribed, so I'm told,
With "I Love You" and signed, "Duke Of Earl."
Here's a tale of a couple who met|
On a cross-country flight in a jet.
She was gorgeous and single
And made his heart tingle!
But Alas! They'd be filled with regret...
As the story goes, she was a fighter.
...and for terrorists, world-wide:
When it comes to a line in the sand,
There's a gem in the sea called a pearl,
All limericks copyrighted 1995-2005. All rights reserved.
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Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org in the meantime.
Please come back soon and visit me.